What you’ll learn

  • The emotional and behavioral patterns of Preoccupied Attachment
  • Powerful visualization medititations that repattern Preoccupied Attachment and help process trauma
  • Techniques for emotional regulation and metacognition when feeling triggered
  • Greater understanding of relationship dynamics and ability to set boundaries


This program will equip you with the knowledge and meditation practices to start the healing process from Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment to Secure Attachment.

The primary modality is guided, visualization meditation that uses “perfect nurturers” to reparent our inner child. This is done to create emotionally corrective experiences. These emotionally corrective experiences bring about memory reconsolidation, what Bruce Ecker calls “transformational change”.

In addition to the attachment repair meditations with the perfect nurturers, there will be exercises to recognize our particular preoccupied patterns daily life, bring them to consciousness, and repattern them.

In This Course We Will Cover

  • Repatterning the core, unconscious, negative emotional beliefs (Schemas) of:
    • Attachment Domain: Domain I
      • Abandonment & Instability
      • Shame & Defectiveness
      • Emotional Deprivation
    • Impaired Autonomy and Performance: Domain II
      • Dependence & Incompetence
      • Vulnerability to Harm and Illness
      • Enmeshment & Underdeveloped Self
      • Failure to Achieve
    • Other Directedness: Domain IV
      • Self-Subjugation
      • Self-Sacrifice
      • Approval Seeking & Recognition Seeking
  • The recognition and replacement of Dysfunctional Behaviors (”Modes”) such as
    • Surrender compliance modes of not standing up for yourself
    • Avoidance modes, especially around avoiding your own explorations and self-assertion
  • Correcting metacognitive (mentalization) deficits
    • Better emotional regulation techniques especially for difficulty discussions with loved ones
    • Better identification and understanding of your present moment experience (mindfulness) especially as it relates to anxious-preoccupied mental states.
    • Better ability to make meaning out of your life in such a way to facilitate compassion, acceptance, and healing.
    • Learning to balance emotional and cognitive perspectives at the same time
    • Learning to hold the other’s “mind in mind”
    • Learning to hold one’s own self in mind (valuing your own perspectives and desires)
  • Correcting non-cooperative speech patterns – Drawing from the Adult Attachment Interview and Grice’s Maxims of cooperative speech:
    • Learning to monitor what is and is not relevant to the conversation
    • Learning to monitor what is and is not an appropriate amount of time to ‘hold onto the conversational turn’ before turning it over to your conversation partner
    • Learning to monitor your speech so that it is clear and easily understood by your conversation partner
  • Learn to own and value your own desires
    • That “what you want matters.”
    • Differentiation of sincere concern and compassion from self-sacrifice and self-subjugation
    • Breaking free from approval and recognition seeks & feeling internally validated
    • Differentiating shame, guilt, and healthy remorse
    • Healthy Self Development vs Enmeshment

This meditation course draws on:

  • Attachment Theory (Bowlby, Ainsworth, et al)
  • Ideal Parent Figure Protocol (Brown, et al)
  • Inner Child Work (Bradshaw, et al)
  • Schema Therapy (Young, et al)
  • Coherence Therapy (Ecker, et al)
  • Mentalization-Based Treatment (Fonagy, et al)
  • Metacognitive Therapy (DiMaggio, et al.)
  • Buddhist Visualization Practices
  • Mindfulness Practice

The material for this course was recorded during a live course and includes Q&A from participants.

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