What you’ll learn
- Encourage your kids to Feel, Regulate, Evaluate and Express each of their emotions
- Build your child’s capacity for emotional self-regulation and social intelligence
- Learn how to do effective fair discipline using natural consequences
- Help your child develop their personality traits and be more Calm, Confident, Friendly, Conscientious and Adventurous
- Learn how to intrinsically motivate a child and why this leads to an increase in creativity, conscientiousness and higher dopamine levels
- Explore how to help your child heal from trauma and abuse and other adverse childhood experiences, including a divorce, death, and drug addiction
- Have fun attuning, connecting and playing with your child
Parenting may well be the hardest and most important job we will ever have to do, and yet it is the one that we receive the least education, training and preparation for. It’s a big responsibility because we hold the child’s future in our hands. But it’s also the most wonderful and rewarding job we will ever have to do, if we know how to enjoy it.
If you’re searching for courses on parenting then you’re already a conscious parent who’s trying to do the best you can for your kid, but it also means that you recognize that there’s always room for improvement. And so you’re already parenting from the heart, cos this shows you really care.
We love our children and we want the best for them, to give them the best possible start in life, and a good foundation for a bright future. But somehow we end up getting trapped in the past and keeping our kids stuck there too.
Getting to the heart of the matter, the essence of the work we will be doing together, is around Emotional Self-Regulation and how it builds Social Intelligence.
Children are not perfect little angels, nor are they rotten little baboons. They are learning to use their bodies and minds, learning to walk and talk, learning to express themselves and their emotions, testing and figuring out how things and people work, and when something doesn’t go their way they are bound to get upset. Parents can respond to a child’s upset in different ways and the child will learn to use his/her emotions accordingly. Kids are either:
1) taught to express their emotions meaningfully; or
2) forced to repress emotions by hiding, denying and over-internalizing; or
3) allowed emotion in excess, amplifying and exaggerating their upset; or
4) driven into a dissociative chaotic state of chronic distress.
How the parent treats the child directly impacts how the child uses each of his/her emotions, how they deal with stress, how they respond to challenges and opportunities, which altogether forms the foundation and core of their personality (and possible future psychopathology/problems). These emotional schemas determine, not just how we feel inside and how we express ourselves and get our needs met, but also how we relate to other people, and therefore the quality of our relationships, for the rest of our lives!
Parenting is a really tricky juggling or balancing act. It’s like we’re always trying but never quite getting into that Goldilocks zone, of not too hot, not too cold, but just right! We all want to be warm affectionate parents, and cool, fun parents, but somehow we always end of over- or under-doing it. It’s not easy because our own lines have been skewed and so we don’t realize when we’re crossing the line, or missing the mark…
The key is Balance!
We want our kids to feel safe and secure, yet also be open and adventurous, we want them to be confident and assertive, but not arrogant and aggressive. We would like our child to be friendly and outgoing, but also independent with a good sense of boundaries. We’d like them to be conscientious and successful but not obsessive and neurotic. We need to help them to find the balance.
The core of the work we will be doing is around how Parenting Styles shape Attachment Styles, which become Relationships Styles.
Do you know your Parenting Style? Are you aware of how it is affecting the development of your child’s personality?
Do you know your Attachment Style? Are you aware of how it is affecting your relationships?
How we express our emotions also shape Personality Traits.
If I want my kid to be Calm, Confident, Friendly, Conscientious, Adventurous, what does this require of me?
What’s the difference between Extrinsic and Intrinsic Motivation?
Studies have shown that intrinsic motivation leads to higher levels of creativity, concentration, conscientiousness as well as higher dopamine levels, which means greater felt sense of reward and increased internal incentive.
How we help enhance their personality traits and intrinsically motivate our kids?
One of the most difficult and challenging parts about parenting is Discipline, and it’s where things often tend to go sideways, because it’s inherently stressful and triggering for many of us. And so we will be looking at how to do effective discipline using natural consequences and intrinsic punishments. Arguing over homework, chores, food, clothes, and everything else is exhausting. It’s easy to default to punishments like revoking privileges, taking away their phone or tablet, but there are other ways to discipline, that teach the lesson and build capacity.
Don’t forget that you’re on the same side.
Another very challenging aspect is Trauma and Abuse. It’s heartbreaking to watch your kid go through difficult experiences and be powerless to help them. Besides direct trauma and abuse there’s also things like domestic violence, psychological disorders, drug abuse, death in the family, and separation/divorce and so we will also be looking at how to support your child through these kinds of experiences, which, if left unresolved can really fragment the entire personality structure and affect children in many ways for the rest of their lives.
This course is based on my own personal experience helping children develop emotional self-regulation, and overcome really debilitating rage and panic episodes, and helping their mom’s and families to develop the capacity to support them and create a stable calming home environment. It’s also based on the in-person workshops that I run with parents, mostly moms, but some dads as well.
And so it is practical and intuitive, as well as scientific and cutting-edge research-based without being overly technical and theoretical and complicated. It’s a labor of love and I really enjoy this work, even though it can be heartbreaking at times, it’s so wonderful to work with parents who are open-minded and willing to take an honest look at their parenting, and it’s so so amazing to see a child become more calm and more attuned and connected, and not overwhelmed and destabilized; to know that you have given this child the most valuable gift that anyone can ever give.
We are shaping their body, heart, soul and mind every day in so many ways.
Let’s do so in ways that Uplift, Empower and Liberate!
Are you ready for an adventure like no other?
The adventure of Parenting from the Heart.